A Message for My Son (When the Time Is Right)

To my son,

There may come a day when you ask me about what happened between your mum and me — why we broke up, what it meant, and what role you played in it all. And I want you to know from the start: you were never the problem.

In fact, you were — and still are — the most beautiful part of something that was otherwise very painful.

When you were born, I was under a huge amount of emotional pressure. Your mum and I had problems that I couldn’t fully understand at the time. I was overwhelmed, and I went through something called psychosis — a moment where my mind just couldn’t cope anymore. It felt like everything I believed about life and love was breaking down. But that wasn’t because of you. That was because of years of unresolved pain and pressure that finally broke through.

You were not the cause.
You were the anchor.

There are parts of the story I’ll tell you in more detail when you’re ready — not because I want you to take sides, but because I believe in honesty. I don’t want to hand you a fantasy version of life. I want you to grow up knowing that you can handle truth — and that even painful truths don’t have to define us.

The hardest part is this: I think I may have stayed in the relationship longer than I should have — partly because I was scared of breaking up the home we were building. I wanted you to grow up in something stable. I thought I was doing the right thing. But over time, I realised that staying in something unhealthy doesn’t serve anyone — not even the child we think we’re staying for.

So I left.

And I left with love in my heart — for myself, for the kind of man I wanted to become, and for you. Because I don’t want you to grow up thinking that love means staying somewhere that’s hurting you. I want you to see that real love includes honesty, integrity, and self-respect.

One day, you might feel confused about what happened between your mum and me. You might have questions I can’t fully answer.
But always come back to this:

You were not a mistake. You were a miracle.
And everything I’ve done since then has been to become the kind of father who can show you what real, grounded love looks like.

I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say.
And I’m proud of the life we’re building — even if it began in pain.

— Dad