Authenticity and Energy

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For a long time, I thought I was protecting my son by shielding him from my moods, my tiredness, my darker sides. I thought that being a “good dad” meant being upbeat, saying yes, keeping the energy flowing—even when I had none.

But lately, I’ve come to realise something powerful: my energy doesn’t disappear because I’m a bad parent. It disappears when I’m not being honest.

Every time I said “yes” when I meant “no,”
Every time I pushed through instead of pausing,
Every time I put on a version of myself I thought he needed—
I was draining a battery I couldn’t recharge.

And that made me dread spending time with him. Not because I don’t love him. But because deep down, I knew I wasn’t showing up as me.
I was performing. And performance is exhausting.

This isn’t just about parenting. I’ve seen it happen with neighbours, with old friends, with anyone I used to wear a mask around. The same dread creeps in. Not because they’re unsafe—but because I’m not safe inside myself when I’m pretending.

But something’s changed.

My body, my soul, my inner child—whatever you want to call it—has stopped letting me get away with inauthenticity.
When I betray myself, it shuts me down. When I honour myself, energy flows.

So now, I’m saying no when I need to. Not because I’m harsh, but because I want my yes to mean something.
I’m being more honest with my son—not dramatic, just real. And I trust that he can handle it.
I’m walking the line between boundaries and compassion, and it’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

And most of all, I’m realising this:

Authenticity isn’t a risk—it’s a responsibility. And it’s the only thing that gives me life.

If I want to enjoy being with my son, I have to show up as myself. That’s the only way I can truly connect, truly lead, and truly love.

Not from a mask.

But from me.