Boundaries Without Shame

I think my neighbours have tried to connect with me many, many times.
And because I didn’t trust their intentions, I kind of pushed them away.
I definitely kept them at arm’s length — but I’ve also shown them snippets of my real self.

It feels like the disrespect came because he felt I was disrespecting him, when really I was just keeping my distance out of safety. He’s not someone I really want to engage with. There’s nothing that appeals to me. It feels like I’d be stuck in a conversation every time I entered my house, and I don’t want that.

But ever since he showed me that disrespect — and I stood up to it — there’s been peace.

I’m somewhere in between.
Maybe I’m always in between.

Maybe the healthiest relationship with certain people is actually the quiet one — where we don’t speak, but we understand. I think he knows that if someone was attacking his house or if his son was in danger, I’d step in. No problem. Not because of any social bond — but because it’s the right thing to do.

Still, I don’t want to be having long conversations with people I haven’t chosen.
And that’s not personal. That’s just how I am.

It’s taken me a long time to realise:
I’m not pushing people away out of malice.
I’m protecting myself based on experience.

Not every interaction is worth my energy — especially if it costs me my peace.

There’s been a kind of unspoken negotiation happening here. Maybe my neighbour felt rejected. Maybe his disrespect was a way to retaliate. But when I stood my ground — not with aggression, but with quiet strength — something shifted.

We reached a kind of clarity.
No cold war.
No fake smiles.
Just mutual understanding.

And in a way, that’s the healthiest kind of distance I can ask for. One where I don’t need to perform connection — I just get to live in peace.

My boundaries aren’t walls.
They’re fences with gates.
And only I get to choose when and if they open.