Broken Glasses

Self‑Mothering Playlist →

In a recent therapy session, my therapist told me she was glad I’d stopped hiding behind theory in our conversations.
And my immediate response? “I felt like you were disappointed in me before… frustrated at me.”

She paused. Then gently said, “I didn’t feel frustrated or disappointed in you at all.”

That moment hit hard.
It made something painfully clear: I was projecting.

Not just a little insecurity — but years of emotional programming. Years of growing up around someone who was disappointed in me for simply being me. Someone who used shame to control, guilt to manipulate, and love as a conditional tool.

That was my mother.

And when you’re raised on that kind of treatment, it becomes the lens through which you see the world.
You don’t develop rose-tinted glasses — you develop broken ones.
Cracked by criticism.
Smudged with shame.
Distorted by disappointment that isn’t even real anymore.

It’s exhausting.

Because no matter how kind someone is, how much goodwill they hold toward you — you still find yourself bracing.
Interpreting warmth as performance.
Kindness as pressure.
Silence as judgment.
You’re constantly preparing for a hit that never comes.

And yet…
That moment in therapy reminded me that these projections aren’t facts.
They’re old fears wearing new faces.

My therapist didn’t shame me. She held me.
And in that moment, something quietly shifted.

I don’t want to see people through broken glass anymore.
But healing isn’t about snapping your fingers and suddenly seeing clearly.
It’s about noticing when the distortion shows up — and gently challenging it.

I’m not broken.
I’m just someone who’s learning to trust that being seen doesn’t have to mean being shamed.
Not anymore.