I’ve always held on to connections that weren’t good for me — scraps that kept me from falling into the void. That same pattern shows up with places too. If I don’t push for something better, am I just tolerating because I don’t believe I deserve more? Or is it okay to stay where I am, because this is actually good enough?

The Pressure of a New Life

Level 4 has given me a foundation. In the past, I don’t think I could have let go of scraps — it would have felt too dangerous, too empty. Now, I feel like I have enough stability to release what doesn’t serve me, whether that’s people or old roles. That’s a strength I didn’t have before.

Neighbors and Boundaries

My neighborhood shows the spectrum of connection:

  • Some have crossed boundaries (coming into my house unannounced, drinking while looking after my son). I’ve set limits, and I’m proud of that.
  • Some are indifferent, offering only a wave or a smile.
  • Some show genuine appreciation, like when I took care of bins and parcels — not performative, just real gratitude. That landed differently.

It feels like I’m finally able to notice the texture of connection, not just label people as good or bad.

The House Question

I ask myself: Am I putting up with this house the same way I’ve put up with unhealthy relationships?

  • On one hand, maybe I’m just tolerating because it’s what I feel I’m worth.
  • On the other hand, this house is stable, workable, and becoming something I can be proud of. I’m improving it, step by step.

Moving would be disruptive to my son, and for now, it feels right to stay. Maybe in a couple of years, I’ll consider something detached. But even then, it won’t be about escaping — it will be about choosing.

The Grounding Truth

Before, I stayed because I had no choice.
Now, I stay because I can see the value, and I know I could choose differently later if I want.

That’s not resignation. That’s agency. That’s worth.