Post Content:

I got onto Level 4.

And not only did I get onto Level 4 — I worked through everything it brought up when I didn’t get into the first two cohorts. The rejection hit some deep insecurities, old wounds about not being chosen, not being seen. For a while, I wasn’t sure if it was about my mental health, or if I was just fundamentally not good enough. Those thoughts were loud.

But I didn’t run from them. I didn’t suppress or avoid. I stayed with it. I reached out. I was honest about how vulnerable it all felt. And somewhere along the way, I found clarity.

I realized I do want to do Level 4. Not just to prove anything, but because I’m ready. I’m ready to go deeper into this path. I’m ready to take the next step — not just as a student, but as someone becoming a guide.

At the same time, I’ve had space to reflect on my relationship with poker. I love the game. I love the focus, the learning, the moments of mastery. But I don’t want to force it into being my full-time income. That pressure would take the joy out of it — and probably my edge with it.

So now I see it more clearly: Poker can fund this chapter. But the long-term? That’s about meaning. It’s about building something that lasts. And Level 4 is a part of that. So is the website. So is the quiet revolution I’m slowly shaping with all of this.

I have savings. I have time. I have some stability. If I can play well, live simply, and keep growing both paths — I think I’ll be in good stead for the rest of my life.

This feels like a good day. Not just because I got in… but because I found myself in the process.