I Don’t Have to Earn My Own Kindness

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There’s a voice in me that still thinks I have to earn kindness.

That I need to have a productive day, regulate my emotions, say the right thing, or avoid the wrong move before I’m allowed to soften toward myself.

It sounds like:

“You’ll feel better once you’ve fixed this.”
“You can rest after you’ve done something useful.”
“You don’t get compassion until you prove you’ve grown.”

But I’m slowly unlearning that.

I don’t need to perform worthiness.
I don’t need to suffer enough to deserve comfort.
I don’t need to be perfect to speak to myself with care.

Kindness isn’t a reward.
It’s a starting point.

The more I offer it—especially when I feel like I don’t deserve it—the more I rebuild safety inside myself.

And that’s what changes everything.