I'm Still Scared to Be Seen — But I'm Showing Up Anyway

I’ve made progress.
I’ve opened up more.
I’ve been more honest, more vulnerable, more me — and that’s a win.

But I’m still scared.

And not in a dramatic way — in a quiet, lingering, nervous-system-deep way.
Like there’s a voice waiting behind every bold step, whispering:

“You’re being too much.”
“People are going to think you’re crazy.”
“You’ll bring shame on your family.”
“You’re embarrassing yourself.”

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🧠 Logically, I Know…

• If I never reveal myself, I’ll never be known.
• If I keep hiding, I’ll keep feeling alone.
• If I wait until I feel “ready,” I’ll wait forever.

But fear doesn’t live in logic.
It lives in the old voices — the ones I didn’t choose but still carry.

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👤 The Critical Voice

It’s not really me.

It’s a blend of my mother’s shaming voice, society’s discomfort with emotion, and a world that trained me to shrink.

It’s the voice of the internalised parent, not the one I’m becoming.

And the more I see that, the more I realise:

This fear isn’t mine — it was installed.

And I don’t have to obey it anymore.

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🥊 I’m Still Showing Up

Even with the fear.
Even with the tightness in my chest.
Even with the part of me that still flinches every time I tell the truth.

Because healing isn’t the absence of fear — it’s not letting fear decide for me.

And every time I post something honest,
Every time I speak without performing,
Every time I sit in the discomfort and stay soft instead of shutting down…

I’m proving to myself that the fear doesn’t get the final say.

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💬 Final Thought

Maybe the fear never fully goes away.
Maybe I’ll always have that whisper in the background.

But I’m no longer living by its rules.

I’m building a new voice — one that says:

“You’re not too much.
You’re just finally letting yourself be seen.”

And that’s enough.
I’m enough.

Even while scared,
I’m still showing up.

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