Learning to Sit With Disappointment (Without Spiraling)
May 31, 2025
When the message doesn’t come, or the tournament doesn’t go my way—this is how I hold space for myself.
Disappointment used to derail me.
A message left on read.
A plan that fell through.
A tournament that didn’t go my way.
I’d spiral—fast.
Try to fix it.
Try to prove my worth.
Try to rewrite the ending before I’d even processed the middle.
But now, I’m learning something gentler.
Something steadier.
I’m learning to sit with disappointment.
Not escape it.
Not numb it.
Not explain it away.
Just be with it.
I noticed this recently when someone didn’t reply.
That familiar story showed up again:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I said too much.”
“I made them uncomfortable.”
But this time, I didn’t chase.
I didn’t rewrite myself to become more palatable.
I didn’t go hunting for reassurance.
Instead, I stayed with myself.
With the ache.
With the longing.
With the not knowing.
And slowly, the shame passed.
Not because I got the response I wanted—
But because I gave myself the one I needed.
Every time I do this, I grow.
Every time I hold the discomfort without abandoning myself, I break the pattern that says, “You’re only okay if things go your way.”
Because the truth is:
Life doesn’t always go my way.
And that’s not a reflection of my worth.
It’s just… life.
So I’m learning to breathe through the dip.
To find steadiness in the wobble.
To remind myself:
Disappointment isn’t danger.
It’s not rejection of my soul.
It’s just a moment asking to be felt.
And when I allow that—without judgment, without rushing—
I return to myself stronger, softer, and more whole than before.
That’s the real win.
Even when the outcome says otherwise.