Letting Go of the Therapist Role in Friendships

Being a good listener used to be my identity. I was the one people came to when they were hurting, confused, or overwhelmed. And for a while, I took pride in that.

But something started to feel off.

I began noticing a pattern: some people only reached out when they needed something. Emotional dumping without reciprocity. Conversations that ended the moment their crisis passed. No space for my experiences, no curiosity about my inner world.

And I realised—I wasn’t in a friendship. I was in a one-way emotional transaction.

It’s not that I want to stop being caring.
It’s that I want mutuality.

I want to be in relationships where we both hold space.
Where both voices matter.
Where I don’t leave every interaction feeling like I’ve poured from a cup that never gets refilled.

Letting go of the “therapist” role in friendships hasn’t been easy.
Sometimes it means walking away.
Sometimes it means uncomfortable boundaries.
But every time, it means reclaiming a little more of my energy.

Because I’m not here to fix everyone.
I’m here to connect.

And I want that connection to nourish both people—not just one.