When My Light Makes People Pull Away

I like who I’m becoming.

I don’t have to answer to anyone. I’ve got complete freedom.
And while I’d like maybe a little more human connection, I definitely have enough right now. Enough to allow me to connect more deeply with myself — which I wouldn’t be able to do if I were constantly surrounded by people.

If others aren’t offering deep, meaningful connection, I’d rather connect deeply to myself.
And I don’t say that to sound distant — I say it because it’s true.

But here’s what keeps coming up…

Every time I share my light — my clarity, my progress, my confidence — people seem to back away.
Not all of them. But enough that it’s not just in my head anymore.

It hurts.
Not because I need applause. But because I want to be seen.
I want to share this with someone — not to impress, but to connect.
And again and again, it feels like when I shine, it makes others dim.
And they go quiet. Or distant. Or gone.

So I’ve stopped sharing certain parts of my life — the poker wins, the confidence, the sense that things are coming together.

Not out of shame. But out of self-protection.

Maybe one day I’ll have a partner who can hold that light with me, without shrinking in it.
Maybe then I’ll open it back up.

But for now, I keep it close.

Because it matters to me.
Because I worked for it.
Because it’s real.

And maybe — just maybe — that quiet choice to keep going, to not shrink, to not dim, will inspire someone else. Not through noise. But through presence. Through honesty. Through staying full, even when it’s easier to hide.

The right people won’t look away.

And when they arrive — I’ll still be here. Still whole. Still shining.