I’m No Longer Available for One-Sided Relationships

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There’s a friendship I’ve held onto since I was about 12 or 13.

It’s spanned continents and years. He’s in Australia now, and still reaches out from time to time. But lately, when I see his messages or missed calls, I feel nothing but drained.

And I’ve realised—I’m done.

I’m no longer available to be the unpaid therapist. The emotional container. The one who listens, supports, responds… and gets nothing back. He’s not unkind. But he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t check in. He disappears when I’m struggling. And when he returns, it’s often when he needs soothing.

And I’ve run out of energy for that.

What’s painful isn’t the end of this one relationship—it’s the pattern it represents. A pattern I’ve repeated too many times. Where I stay. Where I give. Where I let myself be hidden. Where my fear of being truly seen is safe, because the other person isn’t looking.

It’s hard to let go.
There are pangs of guilt.
He’s probably lonely.
But I’ve been lonely too.
And he’s never helped me up when I was down.

That’s the truth I couldn’t unsee anymore.

We only get so much time in this life. So much energy. And I want to spend mine on relationships that are mutual. Where I am met. Where I am seen. Where I don’t have to shrink into a role just to stay connected.

This isn’t about anger. It’s about clarity. It’s about making peace with the fact that some relationships don’t need closure—they just need to be released.

So I’m letting go.
Not with hate.
But with honesty.
Because I deserve to be held, too.

And if you’re reading this and recognising something familiar in your own life—know this:

You’re allowed to choose peace over obligation.
You’re allowed to stop answering calls that drain you.
You’re allowed to save your energy for people who give some back.
You’re allowed to leave.

Even if it’s been years.
Even if they don’t understand.
Even if they call again.

You’re not abandoning anyone.
You’re returning to yourself.