Noticing, Not Controlling: When Boundaries Are Enough

It looks like my son’s mum has turned off her “last active” status.
She still replies when she wants to, but I can’t see when she was last online anymore.

That’s fine.

Maybe it helps her feel less pressure to respond.
Maybe it’s a subtle way to create distance after I recently set a clear boundary.
Maybe it’s both.

Either way, it’s not mine to manage.

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I’ve Noticed This Pattern

She crosses my boundaries.
She usually doesn’t acknowledge it.
And when I call it out, I get a delayed, emotionally distant response—if any.

It’s clear she doesn’t like being told where my lines are.
But that’s not my problem.

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I’m Not Angry. Just Tired.

I don’t expect her to change.
I don’t need her to agree.
I’m just aware that:

• She’ll do what she wants,
• I’ll respond how I need to,
• And I’m not chasing emotional clarity where it’s never going to come from.

It’s exhausting.
And I’d rather not have this dynamic in my life at all.
But for now, this is what co-parenting looks like.

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Boundaries Are for Me, Not Them

I can’t control how she reacts.

All I can do is name what works for me.
And when that gets ignored, I respond with as much clarity and self-respect as I can.

That’s it.

Noticing, not controlling.
Letting it be what it is.
And choosing peace over performance.

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