Now Comes the Sitting
June 08, 2025
After the realizations, after the rage, after the grief — sometimes the only thing left to do is sit with what still hurts. And stay.
After all the words.
After the unraveling.
After the truth has been named and the illusions stripped bare —
there’s not much left to do.
Except sit.
And stay.
🪨 Sitting With the Ache
This isn’t the kind of grief that needs fixing.
It’s the kind that needs presence.
Not understanding.
Not explanation.
Just stillness.
Because what I’m feeling now isn’t confusion anymore.
It’s reality.
Cold, quiet, and heavy.
The truth that I wasn’t loved in the way I needed.
That maybe they both thought they loved me.
But neither of them knew how to hold me.
💔 The Ache of the Unheld
It’s not just sadness.
It’s the ache of:
- being unseen
- being misunderstood
- being pushed away and blamed for it
- being told love was there when all I felt was distance
It’s the ache of almost being loved.
Of sensing the possibility, but never being chosen fully.
And now that I see it — really see it — I can’t unsee it.
🧘🏽♂️ So Now I Sit
Not to collapse.
Not to give up.
But to say, maybe for the first time:
“I’m not abandoning myself too.”
I’m not reaching for the next answer.
I’m not trying to escape the heaviness.
I’m not proving I’m healed.
I’m just here.
🕯 Staying Is the Work Now
Because maybe this is where the real healing begins:
- Not when the pain goes away
- But when I learn I can stay with it
- When I stop leaving myself every time it hurts
- When I stop calling it progress only when I feel better
This is progress too.
This sitting.
This staying.
This stillness.
💬 A Quiet Promise
To the part of me that still aches, still questions, still longs:
I’m not going anywhere.
Even if nothing changes.
Even if this takes time.
Even if the wound never fully closes.
You are safe with me.
Not because it doesn’t hurt anymore —
But because I’m finally willing to sit with you while it does.