Parenting Through – Part 2

You wouldn’t think I’d be this tired.

We’ve barely done anything today — played a bit of PlayStation, chilled, listened to some music.
But by midday, my body was already sounding the alarm.
Not because of what I’d done — but because of what I’d been holding.

And that’s the thing most people don’t understand.

It’s not the tasks.
It’s not the chaos.
It’s the constant emotional labour.
The regulation. The scanning.
The effort to remain present, patient, attuned — especially when you were never given those things yourself.

It’s the invisible work.
The part no one sees.
The part that drains you to the bone.

And I’ve reached a point where I can’t pretend that 50/50 parenting works for me.

It’s not about loving my son less.
It’s about staying well enough to love him well.

If I don’t listen to this exhaustion — if I override it, like my father probably did — I’ll end up empty.
Resentful. Disconnected. Just going through the motions.

And that’s not who I want to be. That’s not the kind of father he needs.

So I’m changing the rhythm.
Not because I’m giving up — but because I’m staying in.
Because this work is lifelong. And I want to do it in a way that’s sustainable.
I want to be present — not just surviving.

This isn’t failure.
It’s the beginning of a more honest way forward.

Reflective Question for You:
What kind of emotional labour are you doing in silence — and what would it look like to honour its weight?