Parenting Through – Part 3

I made the change.

I’ve said no to the 50/50 rhythm.
I’ve stepped into something more manageable — more honest.

But here’s the truth: it still doesn’t feel good.

There’s this voice inside me — persistent, critical, quietly cruel — whispering:

“You should be able to handle this.”
“Other people manage.”
“What’s wrong with you?”

And I get it. That voice was formed early.
When love felt conditional.
When my needs were too much.
When asking for help led to disappointment, silence, or worse.

So now, even when I’m making the healthiest choice I can, that voice shows up to tell me it’s not enough.
That I’m not enough.

But here’s the thing I’m trying to remember:
That voice isn’t truth.
It’s trauma.
It’s the echo of unmet needs being internalized as inadequacy.

And it’s wrong.

Because the truth is: I’m not less of a parent for needing rest.
I’m not a failure because I couldn’t parent at full capacity every single day.
I’m someone breaking a generational cycle — and that kind of work takes everything.

The fact I even notice the voice now means I’m no longer ruled by it.
And every time I choose what’s right over what looks strong — I’m healing.

Not just for me.
For my son too.