Recognising Secure Connection (And Wanting More of It)

There’s something quietly powerful about experiencing a moment of secure connection—especially when it’s rare.
Today, I had one of those moments.

It was simple.
A doctor, kind and present.
She made a gentle joke when calling my name, something light to ease the air.
She noticed I was a little nervous but didn’t make it awkward.
She stayed grounded, responded with openness, and didn’t take my comments defensively.

And something in my system breathed.
I didn’t feel the need to impress, perform, or protect myself.
I could just… be.

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What struck me wasn’t just how rare this kind of dynamic is in my life—but how clearly I recognised it.
It felt safe.
Clean.
Respectful.
Genuine.

And I didn’t confuse that safety for romance or need.
There was no craving, no urge to chase it or hold onto it. Just… a gentle recognition:

“This is the kind of connection I want more of in my life.”

Not necessarily with her.
But with people like that.
Secure people. Present people. Kind people.

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What’s also become clear is this:
The fact I recognised it so easily tells me something about me.

That I’ve done a lot of work.
That I am more grounded.
That I am showing up more regulated and whole.
And because of that, I’m starting to attract and notice secure interactions when they happen.

These things don’t usually happen by chance.
I’d looked after myself today.
I’d been to the gym.
I’d eaten well.
I was present.
There was space in me—for something good to land.

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So I’m writing this as a kind of marker.
A reminder that secure connection does exist.
That I can recognise it.
That I am capable of allowing it to come and go without panic or need.

And maybe most of all—
That I can now tell the difference between connection that costs me…
And connection that fills me.

That difference might just be everything.

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