The Line Between a Wall and a Boundary

The truth is, I can only control how I reflect and integrate my own parts.

I can’t control how others behave.
I can’t make them more aware, more attuned, more safe.
All I can do is listen to my body, integrate what arises, and respond from a place that honours me.

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Triggers Aren’t Always About Them

Sometimes I feel the urge to wall myself off — not because of someone’s actions alone, but because of what those actions brought up in me.
And if I’m not careful, I could confuse that reaction for wisdom.

But if I wall myself off because I’m triggered — rather than because someone genuinely violated my boundary — then that wall isn’t a boundary.
It’s protection.
And over time, too many of those walls can isolate me from the life I want to live.

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So What Can I Do?

I can integrate the parts of me that feel activated.
I can ask, with compassion:

“Is this about them — or is this an old wound asking to be seen?”

And once I’ve seen it, I can choose again.

• Do I want to stay open here?
• Do I feel safe enough to remain soft?
• Do I need to step back — not from fear, but from respect?
• Is this someone I want to invest my energy in?

That’s discernment.
Not judgement. Not shame.
Just a quiet clarity about what aligns with me, and what doesn’t.

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Boundaries Are Love

Walls are fear.

And the more I accept and integrate the parts of me that get triggered, the less likely I am to act from fear.
The more I trust myself to stay open where it’s safe, and step away where it’s not.

This is how I protect my energy.
This is how I honour myself.
And this is how I keep my heart soft — even in a world that doesn’t always deserve it.

Because in the end, I’d rather be someone who feels too much than someone who shut down completely.

And now, I finally trust myself to know the difference.