The Songs My Dad Left Playing
June 08, 2025
Adele. Coldplay. Evanescence. My dad didn’t sing these songs—but he played them over and over again. And I think they were saying what he couldn’t.
My dad wasn’t the kind of man who talked about his emotions.
But during my teenage years, there was a kind of silence he filled with music.
He didn’t sing them.
But he played them—incessantly.
Adele’s Someone Like You.
Coldplay’s Clocks.
Evanescence’s Bring Me to Life.
And the more I reflect on it, the more I wonder:
Was that his way of speaking? Of grieving? Of remembering something he never fully named?
💔 Adele – Someone Like You
A song of grief disguised as strength.
“Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you…”
It would play quietly in the background—on drives, in the kitchen, through thin walls at night.
A love song, yes—but also a lament. A goodbye that never settled. A wound still slightly open.
I think he felt this.
Not just for someone else—but for the man he might’ve been.
⏳ Coldplay – Clocks
A song of time slipping away.
“Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease?”
The piano never stopped. That circular riff—it felt like time looping. Like regret on repeat.
He didn’t say much, but I could feel the friction in him.
Like he was living life from a distance.
This song sounded like what it felt like to be around him. Present, but unreachable.
🕯 Evanescence – Bring Me to Life
A song of emotional shutdown and the longing to be revived.
“Wake me up inside… Save me from the nothing I’ve become.”
This one scared me a little.
Not because of the music—but because it felt too real.
Who was he playing this for? Himself? My mum? God? No one?
Maybe a part of him was numb. And this song was trying to cut through the ice.
🧠 What These Songs Share
It’s not genre.
It’s emotional paralysis.
It’s longing. Regret. Sleepwalking. A quiet plea for something real.
These songs are about:
- Wanting to be woken up
- Mourning a life that passed unspoken
- Feeling stuck in your own mind
- Wishing someone could pull you out
He never said those things out loud.
But maybe, through these songs, he did.
✍️ What That Left In Me
I grew up with the ache of those songs all around me.
Not loud. But always present. Like emotional wallpaper.
And maybe that’s why I feel things so deeply.
Why I don’t want to numb.
Why I write.
Because even if he never found a way to say it—
I will.
I will not be unreachable.
I will not drown in silence.
I will wake myself up.
And maybe, just maybe,
I’ll be the one who names what the music tried to say.