Today, I Didn’t Run

Self‑Mothering Playlist →

I didn’t sleep well—maybe four hours, if that. My body feels the truth of it today. I used to override days like this. Power through. Do the jobs. Prove I’m productive.

But not today.

Today, I’m listening. My energy is low, and I’m choosing to protect it. Not out of avoidance, but out of respect.

I’ve got an interview this afternoon. A course I’m more than ready for. And I’m not prepping. Not performing. I know who I am. The best thing I can bring into that room is my presence. And I relish the chance to practice that.

This morning, I’m just sitting. Not lonely—at all. For once, I’m not chasing connection because I’ve found something deeper: me.

There are parts of myself I used to exile.
My pride.
My self-respect.
My strength.
My love.
Even my desire to be wanted.

But now they’re here. And I’m letting them stay.
I’m not brushing past this moment. I’m not letting the progress wash over me like it never happened. I’m letting it land.

I think this is what becoming whole feels like.

Not a breakthrough.
Not a high.
Just stillness.
Just me.
And for once, that’s enough.