Trusting My Gut Over Someone Else’s Title

I used to believe that if someone had enough qualifications—especially in the world of therapy and education—they could be trusted. That the certificates, the titles, the experience meant they’d know how to treat people. That they’d get it.

But that belief has been unraveling.

Because my tutor—someone with all the credentials—disrespected me, publicly, more than once. And I’m still not sure why she thought that was okay. Maybe she thought I could take it. Maybe she believed she was “helping.” Maybe she didn’t even notice. But I did. And so did others.

Some of my peers told me later that they respected me for standing up to her. They said they felt deeply uncomfortable when it happened to them too—but they didn’t feel safe enough to speak. And yet, I’m the one who probably paid the price. I’m the one who may have lost my place on the course. Not because I lacked ability—but because I didn’t comply.

And that’s what stings the most.

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She may say I was reacting from my “wounded child.”
But even if I was, that child deserves respect, not shame.

What hurts isn’t just that she mishandled it. It’s that she wrapped it in the language of care. It felt like control dressed up as compassion. Pity pretending to be empathy. And when someone with authority uses psychological language to discredit your gut feeling—it’s not therapeutic. It’s manipulative.

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I wanted to trust her.
Her profile looks perfect. Decades of experience. Trauma-informed. Accredited. Teaching others how to become therapists.

But the way she treated me didn’t match the person described on that page. And that disconnect left me doubting myself—until I remembered:

My gut never lied. It just got overridden.

So this post is for anyone who’s ever been treated poorly by someone with power. Especially in the helping professions. Especially when they used therapy-speak to justify it.

You are not weak for noticing.
You are not wrong for feeling it.
And you don’t need a degree to say: “That wasn’t okay.”

I may have lost a place on that course. But I’ve gained something more important:

• Self-respect.
• Clarity.
• And a refusal to betray my truth for someone else’s title.

If that’s the cost of becoming who I am, I’ll pay it.

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