I’ve been thinking a lot about how I listen. Not just to words, but to the tone underneath, the pauses, the facial expressions, the feeling that lives behind what’s being said.

For a long time I thought I had to bring all of this into the room. That if I didn’t, I wasn’t showing how attentive I really was. Almost like I had to prove that I was listening harder than anyone else. But I’m realising that’s not the point.

The point isn’t to interpret everything. The point is to notice, and then decide: is this useful right now?
Sometimes the best thing to do is simply hold it in the background. Other times it might be as simple as saying: “I noticed this. Is it important to you, or should we move on?” That keeps the client in charge of meaning.

I’m learning to trust my unconscious to surface what matters. Not everything I pick up on needs to be made conscious. Most of the time, being with someone is straightforward and simple. The depth is always there if it’s needed, but I don’t have to force it.

That’s the balance: curiosity that serves the client versus curiosity that complicates things.

  • If it helps the client, bring it in.
  • If it risks making them anxious or insecure, hold it silently.

This is becoming less about proving I can see everything, and more about being with someone in the moment. And as I grow into that, I’m finding myself enjoying class more each week. That enjoyment is proof of resilience — not dramatic, just the quiet kind that shows up when I feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Mantra I want to carry with me:
I don’t need to use everything I notice. I just need to trust myself to use what’s useful.