Parenting When You Weren’t ParentED

It’s midday, and I’m already at 40%.

We haven’t even done anything intense. Just hung out, played some PlayStation. I’ve mostly been lying on the sofa. But I feel wiped. Fully drained. And it’s frustrating, because on paper, it shouldn’t feel this hard.

But it does.

Because it’s not about the activity — it’s about the emotional load. The constant awareness, the attunement, the presence. Holding space for someone else when you’re still learning how to hold it for yourself.

I’m actually relieved he’s going out with his friend this afternoon. If he wasn’t, I’d be stuck. I wouldn’t have the energy. I need this window to rest — to do nothing — just to keep going.

I’m a little concerned about tomorrow too. I’m taking them both to a party. But I’m hoping it’ll be okay — it’s a football one, so maybe they’ll just play and I can sit back. I could really use that kind of day. One where I can still be present, but not needed every second.

This moment is a reminder of why I can’t do 50-50 long-term.
Not because I don’t love him.
But because love doesn’t override limits. And pretending it does just leads to burnout.

These quiet moments of recognition — when I catch it early — they matter.

Reflective Question for You:
When you feel your energy slipping but haven’t “done much,” what are you actually carrying?