There’s a part of me that just wants to show them everything — all the truths I’ve written, all the grief I’ve named, all the silence I’ve broken — and just get it over with.

Not because I want a fight.
Not because I want closure.
But because the waiting is louder than their reaction could ever be.

It’s the not knowing when they’ll find out.
The not knowing what they’ll do.
That lingering tension in my chest every time I think, “What if they show up at my house?”

But here’s the thing — I’ve walked through every outcome.

🛡 If they show up?

I can handle it.
No one in my family is physically threatening. And I am more than capable of protecting myself.

💬 If they try to guilt me?

I’ve outgrown those tactics.
Their disapproval has no hold over my identity anymore.

💸 If my mum tries to take the money?

I’ll rebuild. I’ve already started.
And if that’s the price I pay to never speak to her again, it’s a good trade.

What I’m realising is:

There is no move they can make that undoes the peace I’ve found.

Emotionally, I’ve cultivated something no one in my family ever gave me — a healthy, independent mindset.
One that sees manipulation for what it is.
One that doesn’t run from confrontation, but doesn’t chase it either.
One that says: “Take what you want. I still keep me.”

So what if I just showed them?

Maybe it would free me from the waiting.
Maybe it would trigger them, or silence them, or shock them.
But none of that matters now — because I’m not doing it for them.
I’m doing it because I’ve stopped hiding.

And if they want to respond with money games, guilt, threats, or tantrums?

Let them.
That’ll be their legacy.
And this — this will be mine.

💬 And if — one day — they do the work?

If any one of them chooses to genuinely reflect,
To apologise without strings,
To take responsibility without deflecting it back onto me —
Then yes, I’m open to connection.

Not because I need it.
Not because I’m waiting.
But because I still believe in healing — when it’s real.

But until then?
I walk forward.
Without guilt. Without apology. Without delay.