What If It Actually Works?
June 09, 2025
I used to be afraid it would fail. Now I’m afraid it might succeed. This is what it feels like to get close to your life’s work — and stay present with the power of it.
There’s a new kind of fear I’m meeting lately.
It’s not the fear of failing.
It’s the fear of succeeding.
Because what I’m building — this website, this digital sanctuary, this emotional roadmap — it’s not just a passion project anymore.
It’s starting to feel like my life’s work.
🌿 A Soft Place to Land
This site holds pieces of me I never thought I’d be able to express:
- The way music moves through pain and helps us metabolize it
- The weight of unmet needs, and the healing of naming them
- A quiet archive of thoughts, truths, stories — not to impress, but to integrate
And the more it grows, the more I realize:
If I do this well, it could help people.
Not because I’m trying to be a guru.
But because therapy isn’t always accessible.
Because sometimes, people just need a place to go at 2 a.m. when their soul hurts and they don’t know what to do with the ache.
🫀 The Fear Beneath the Excitement
And that’s where the fear kicks in.
Because if it does work… then what?
If it is useful… am I ready for that?
There’s a part of me — a young, unmirrored part — that still thinks being visible is dangerous.
That if I shine too brightly, someone might come and take it all away.
That fear has a name:
The past.
And I’m not living there anymore.
✨ This Is What I Know Now
I used to think the only way to feel proud of my work was if it changed lives.
Now I’m learning this:
It’s already changing mine — and that’s enough.
If no one else ever finds it…
If it never “takes off”…
It will still be one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever created.
Because I’m building a place for myself to land.
And from that place, I can meet others, too — not from a pedestal, but from presence.
🌌 So What If It Does Work?
Then I’ll let it.
Then I’ll trust it.
Then I’ll keep going — not out of pressure, but out of love.
This isn’t about becoming “big.”
It’s about becoming true.
And if that truth resonates far beyond me,
Then maybe I was never selfish for making it.
Maybe I was just early.