When I’m Triggered by Kindness

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It caught me off guard the first time it happened.

Someone was kind to me—gently, sincerely—and my body tensed up. I wanted to trust it, but I also wanted to run. Something in me whispered:

“What do they want?”
“This won’t last.”
“Be careful.”

I wasn’t used to kindness without strings.
I wasn’t used to softness that didn’t lead to pain.

And it made me realise—I wasn’t triggered by the person. I was triggered by what kindness used to mean.

Because in the past, it often came just before the drop.
Before the withdrawal. The criticism. The confusion.

But now, I’m letting myself learn something new.

Kindness can be safe.
Gentle people exist.
Not everyone who leans in is preparing to walk away.

It takes time.
It takes regulation.
It takes patience with the parts of me that still brace for harm.

But I’m learning.

And slowly, I’m letting kindness feel like home again.