Something shifted today.

Not in my mind, but in my body.
My body battery went up—not down. And it didn’t make any logical sense at first. I hadn’t done anything particularly relaxing. I hadn’t even gotten good news. In fact, I’m still sitting with the disappointment of not getting onto Level 4.

But then it clicked.
For the first time in a long time, my body wasn’t preparing for battle.

No courses.
No strain.
No internal pressure to rush straight into the next proving ground.

Just space.
Just breath.
Just a quiet message from within: “We’re not going back into the war.”

Because that’s what it’s felt like—a war of learning. Not the content itself, but the constant pressure to hold everything together. To keep growing, improving, trying, surviving, achieving.

And now, there’s this one sacred year.
Not to abandon the journey, but to let my body reset.
To let my nervous system stop bracing.
To let my whole being exhale, maybe for the first time in years.

That feels like healing.
Not in theory.
In practice.