Why Can’t I Stop Processing?

I don’t know why I keep processing.

I’m not going to come to some magical conclusion today.
I’m not going to crack the code and suddenly feel light.
I know that — and still, I keep digging.
One thought after another. One insight after another. One truth after another.

And maybe it’s not really about trying to fix anything.
Maybe I just don’t know what else to do.

Because for so long, I was silent.
Swallowed things. Smiled through it. Got on with it.
No one asked what was going on underneath — and if they did, I didn’t have the words.

Now the words won’t stop.

And I think that’s because my system is trying to finish something.
Trying to make sense of years of hurt, shame, confusion, loss.
Trying to tie a bow on something that was never neatly packaged to begin with.

But here’s the truth I’m just starting to grasp:

There is no finish line.
There’s no point where I’ll be fully processed and finally “done.”

Healing doesn’t come from figuring everything out.
It comes from learning when to say, “That’s enough for today.”

And that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning the work.
It means I’m honouring it.

Because the part of me that won’t stop processing?
It’s the same part that never got to speak.
And now it thinks if it just keeps going, maybe someone will finally understand.
Maybe I’ll finally understand.

But I do understand — at least enough for today.

So here’s what I’m going to say to myself right now:

“Thank you, mind. Thank you for trying to protect me.
Thank you for searching.
But you don’t have to do more right now.
You’ve done enough.
Let’s rest, and come back to this when we have more to give.”

Because I don’t need to be finished.
I just need to be human.

Reflective Question for You:
What are you still trying to “solve” — and what would it feel like to say, I’ve done enough for now?