Why I’m Afraid to Share My Truth

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I’ve been noticing a resistance lately — this deep, quiet fear around sharing the Embracing Authenticity project fully. Around letting myself be seen. Around letting people know who I really am.

At first, I thought maybe it was just perfectionism. Or timing. Or not feeling “ready.”

But when I sit with it, it feels like something much older. Much deeper.

I think I’m afraid because some part of me still believes that if I show people who I truly am, they’ll leave.

And that fear didn’t come out of nowhere.

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🌫️ The Original Abandonment

When I look back, my mother never really loved me in the way I needed.
She didn’t nurture me.
She didn’t see me.
She didn’t consider what I wanted, or who I was becoming.

And what’s even harder to admit — I think she liked it when I was desperate for her approval. Because in that space, she held the power. She could give or withhold love. And I would keep trying, keep bending, keep proving.

So now, as an adult, when I create something that reflects my deepest truth — my real self — it stirs up that old terror:

“What if no one wants this? What if they walk away?”

But the truth is…
She already walked away.
Not physically, but emotionally — from the very beginning.

So I’m not really afraid of being abandoned again.
I’m afraid of reliving what I already lived through.
And that’s what makes this so hard.

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🧡 The Risk of Being Seen

There’s something vulnerable about building a project like this — about showing people the real me. Because it’s not a performance. It’s not filtered through what I think others want to hear.

It’s me. Quietly, honestly, imperfectly… me.

And that’s what makes it both terrifying and sacred.

Because the fear isn’t just fear.
It’s grief.
It’s the pain of never having been accepted when it mattered most.
And the cautious hope that maybe this time, it could be different.

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🕯️ A Truth I’m Holding Onto

I already feel unseen by most people.
So what is it I’m really afraid of losing?

Not everyone will get it.
But the right people might.
And they’ll only find me if I let myself be found.

That doesn’t mean I need to shout or overshare or bare everything at once.
It just means not hiding.

And that’s a risk I want to take.
Because the life I want — the connection I long for — doesn’t exist behind a mask.

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🌱 If This Resonates

If you’ve felt this too — the fear of being seen, the resistance to sharing what matters — I just want to say:

You’re not alone.
And the fact that you found your way to these words means that your inner voice is still alive.
Still guiding you.
Still hoping.

Let that be your sign.
You’re not broken for being afraid.
You’re just someone who’s learning to be seen — maybe for the first time.