Why I’m Not Forcing Connection Anymore

There’s a big difference between seeking connection and forcing it. I used to blur that line. I’d try to make something happen—start conversations, hold space, extend myself—just to feel a sense of closeness, even if the energy wasn’t mutual.

These days, I’ve stopped chasing. I say hello. I show up. I remain open. But I don’t twist myself into something I’m not just to fit into someone else’s world.

And it’s freeing.

It means I can walk my dog and smile at a stranger without expecting anything back. I can message someone once without spiraling if they don’t respond. I can go to the gym, or a class, or the sauna, and just enjoy being around people without needing to be chosen.

Connection that’s forced never lasts. It comes from a place of fear. But when it flows naturally, it feels safe, reciprocal, and steady.

I’m learning to let relationships unfold without trying to script the ending. I’m learning to let silence speak. I’m learning that the people who are meant to connect with me—really connect—won’t need convincing.

And in the meantime, I’m choosing peace over pursuit.