A short lived observation — not fully formed, but alive.
What I’m Noticing
Today, I realised something important:
I’m not behind.
I’m not late.
I’m not trying to catch up to some invisible finish line.
I’m in conversation with my life.
Every choice I make — every floorboard cut, every room I improve, every pause for tea — is a response to what feels true right now. Not panic. Not pressure. Just responsiveness.
I finished one tricky piece of flooring today. It clicked into place — literally and metaphorically. The transition strip will go down soon. Then maybe the architrave. Then maybe the living room. Or my bedroom. Or my office.
Not because I’m rushing to get it all perfect.
But because I’m defining my world slowly.
Why I Think It Matters
There was a time when I thought a relationship would fix everything — that love from someone else would give my life shape and meaning.
Now, the shape is coming from me.
From my hands.
From what I care about.
From how I show up for myself and the place I call home.
I’m learning that:
- Things don’t need to be finished to be beautiful
- Progress isn’t linear — it meanders and loops
- Curiosity is a compass I can trust
- Being alone doesn’t mean being unloved
And the tiny acts — like smoothing a piece of wood or choosing a paint colour — are not trivial.
They are acts of belonging.
Belonging to myself.
Belonging to my own life.
The Open Question
What if the point isn’t to complete the project…
but to enjoy becoming the kind of person who completes things?
I don’t know where this is all heading.
I don’t need to.
My life isn’t fixed —
it’s unfolding.
I’m still figuring this out…