Lately I keep bumping into this simple but uncomfortable truth:

If I avoid every risk today,
I don’t avoid pain —
I just delay it into regret.

This isn’t a fully formed philosophy…
just a feeling that refuses to leave.


What I’m Noticing

Whenever I choose safety over possibility,
it feels like I’m choosing to stay smaller than I want to be.

I hesitate to send the message.
I hold back from going for the big shove in poker.
I wait until confidence arrives —
as if confidence comes before the leap.

There’s a tension between who I am
and who I keep saying I want to become.

No answers yet — just honesty.


Why I Think It Matters

The moments where I risk disappointment —
a conversation, a boundary, a creative step —
they move me forward, even when they sting.

And the moments where I freeze?
They pile up into what if.

That’s the cost I’m becoming unwilling to pay.


The Open Question

What would my life look like
if I kept choosing the small leap now
instead of the big regret later?

I’m still figuring this out…